Inner Beauty
by KCcrazy
Summary: Beauty is only skin deep, but it is what people think of when they see me. They don't see the girl who is no longer a even person, but instead just an empty, broken, shell of what used to be a living, breathing, human. A deeper look inside Rosalie's mind.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**I'm sorry for not updating for several months. My friend has been sick with cancer, and went into remission shortly before Thanksgiving. Sadly, the cancer came back untreatable, and she was announced terminal. She earned her angel wings on January 26 of this year. ****I hope you understand. Thank you for staying with me.**

**After many months of being unable to write and finally gaining the inspiration to start, I decided I'd look around for some challenges to get the creative juices flowing. This one happens to be a challenge suggested by **_callmefall _**from the CookieMonster Challenges.**

_**Rest in peace, beautiful angel. This one is dedicated to you. ~**_

Inner Beauty

_By: KCcrazy_

When people see me, they only see what's on the outside. My hair. My lips. My body. Beauty is only skin deep, and your inner beauty is what matters the most. When I am completely honest with myself, I know there have been times when my inner beauty wasn't beauty at all. It was a monster. _I _was a monster. But do people care? No, not at all. They want me for my outside beauty, and nothing else. They believe I am lacking in true beauty. When I try to hide the truth of what I really am, I know for a fact that I am beautiful, outside and inside. But somewhere, I know I'm lying to myself, and no matter how much I want to be beautiful on the inside, there is something in my past that is holding me back. And those people, the ones who encourage the outer beauty to triumph over my inner beauty . . .

They don't see _me._

They don't know what I've been through. They don't what I've seen, or what I've had to deal with. They don't know me at all, and they never will.

They don't see the girl who has a heart and cares so much for her family she would willingly die for them. They don't see the girl with the broken wings, who was hurting for so long with no one to help her cope through all of it. They don't see the girl who sometimes wishes she could _die_, just because she was so tired of living through it all. They don't see the girl who had her life unwillingly ripped out of her cold and bloodied hands, who was so desperately wishing for death that she would have willingly decapitated herself had it been possible at the time.

They don't see the girl who is no longer even a _person_, but instead just an empty, broken shell of what used to be a living, breathing, human.

Sometimes, I wonder, if I were given the chance, I would be a human again. I didn't want this life so dreadfully forced upon me, and the only thing I had wanted--the only thing I _still_ wanted--ever since the horrible, tragedy filled night, was to have a heartbeat, with working lungs and warm blood pumping freshly and easily through my veins, warming my entire being. I wanted to sleep, to dream, to eat, _to live. _I wanted the only thing I couldn't have. The one thing I would never get.

Would I trade all I had now for a chance to be human? Would I trade my siblings, my parents, my husband for a chance to have a child and age gracefully and die with my partner, and then begin my entry into Heaven? Could this broken, scarred, girl I saw give all she _wants_ for something she _needs_? Could I really give up all of this for a second chance--something that was so rarely given it was considered a miracle when it happened--at humanity?

Would it be worth it in the end?

I could have something I knew I had always needed, but was somehow existing without. After all these years of self-loathing and hatred, I could finally have what I needed in order to properly survive. I wouldn't have to kill innocent animals, and I wouldn't have to panic whenever a human's blood was particularly appealing. I could go out into the sunlight and feel the beautiful warmth on my _dull_, sparkle-less skin. I could feel the frigid winter as it bit mercilessly into my rosy cheeks. My inner beauty would outshine my outer beauty, and people would love me for who I was, not what I looked like. They wouldn't care that I was once a vampire, because they would love me unconditionally, like the way a mother loves her child. I could feel the same way towards my partner, and I would love my child, my baby, the human I had created, just as much.

I could feel _alive_.

This was not selfish thinking. This was the way someone thought after they had been through more gruesome and horrible things than anyone else in the world. I was the one who was betrayed by her fiance and his drunken friends. I was the one who was left to die in the blood that was I was going to drink in only three days. I was the one who was murdered by the one she thought she loved, only a week before what was supposed to be the grandest wedding since before the Great Depression. I was the one with nothing left in her heart.

But that wasn't all that mattered. _I_ wasn't all that mattered.

My inner beauty, the little that I had, the little that I was willing to keep, came out for a moment.

I thought about my family.

My loving parents, who took me in and did not fault me when I killed those despicable humans. They cared for me, and I knew that they would protect me from everything, even if I did not want to protect them in return. They gave me a new life, a second chance at almost everything I never got to have. I couldn't leave them, after all they had done for me. No matter how much I wanted humanity and mortality, I could not bring myself to leave them.

My twin, who understood me more than anyone else. He was the one who served as my brother when I began to miss mine. He helped me fight off the hormonal humans, and warned me when a particularly hostile human was coming my way. He made me laugh when I was upset. He was the one who would get up in the middle of the night to make me cookies, had I been able to eat them. He never asked for anything in return, and I wouldn't give him anything in return, either. I did not think it was possible to leave him.

My younger brother, who listened to all of my problems, no matter how reluctant he was towards it. He didn't feel sympathy, because I did not want it. He made me realize that looks weren't everything, that beauty was only skin deep, that I could never have anything I wanted. He was the one I had once thought of as stupid, but in reality had forced me to realize some of the biggest things in life, the things I would have failed to realize without him. I was the stupid one to think it was possible to leave him.

My sister in law, who had made me forget about my past, even if it was only for a short time. She was the only without a past, the only one who just may have had a past worse than mine. She was the one who related to me in ways no one besides myself could understand. She was the one who made me feel as if my past was nothing, and that it was just the future with the lights on. She made me realize that I had a full life of immortality ahead of me, and at some point I would come to enjoy it. Even though I could not see my future, I knew it would have her in it.

My sister, who had listened to my story and let me have a chance at being a mother. She was the one who was brave enough to face the Volturi to save my brother. She was the one I had poured at all the gory details of my heart into, the one who had thought about her decision and was, at a point, willing to live and die as a human because it would make me happy. She was the one who was ready to completely change her life, just because she wanted to. But she didn't do it, and that was what made me realize that everyone was different, and she knew what she was giving up. She was the one who was giving up her life as a human, just because she loved us all too much to let us go. I could not leave her either, despite how ready I was to do it for so long.

I watched my reflection in the mirror as two muscular arms wrapped loving around my waist. Soft, pink lips pressed against my temple, and a quiet chuckle met my ears. I smiled as I was slowly engulfed in a caring embrace and pulled into the lap of the one I loved.

My husband, the one who cared for me more than anything else in the world combined. He was the one who calmed me down when I was angry, and made me laugh by telling stupid jokes. He was the one who shot down all the men who tried to ask me out, proudly claiming he was mine and I was his. He was the one who had the perfect smile that was only reserved for me, the same one that always made me smile back, no matter what the situation was. He was the one who could set the world on fire with one passion flooded kiss. He was the one who kept me from falling apart. He was the one who would never leave me, the one who swore to always love me with everything he had. He was the one I wanted to live with forever. There was no way I could ever leave him.

He was _The One_.

He was my superman, my soulmate, my destiny, my desire, my world, my heart, body, mind, and soul. He was everything. He was _my_ everything.

I could not live without him. I could not even exist without him.

To this day, I have always thanked that bear for protecting it's child. I was hurt when Emmett had shot the bear and tried to kill her, out of pure enjoyment of hunting. I gave Emmett most of the scars that had once marred his beautiful face, forcing myself not to drain him and take my first human life. All the while, I was subconciously thinking it was so Carlisle would be forced to change him, so he could live with me forever. Without the mother bear, I wouldn't have him, and my life would be worth nothing. Now, as a vampire, my life has _meaning_.

Could this whole, happy girl I saw and knew I was give up all she _needs_ for something she _wants_?

As I looked back at my reflection in the mirror, I realized two things.

For the first time in many years, my inner beauty outshone my outer beauty.

And there was no possible way I would leave my family for something I want, when I already have everything I need right here.

_Ever_.

**For those of you that read through this, thank you. I hope you enjoyed this deeper look into Rosalie's mind. I love her and Emmett's relationship a lot more after writing this, and I hope you do too. Once again, thank you for reading.**

**Reviews = Any virtual gift you want**


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